All Bitter and Shizit..

I have noticed that my last couple of posts are on the say, bitter side, so I started thinking..what IS IT about January? I actually love the snow, love cold mornings and there is nothing that energizes me more than a run outside when it is 20 degrees..seriously, love it.

But January hits and I become like Pig Pen with a dark cloud looming overhead. I'm grouchy at home, with friends, have no patience, tell people off "in my head" about 40 times a day. I remember when I was in my 20's I realized that 90% of my relationships had ended in January. Coincidence? I don't think so.

I go tanning for my "light therapy". I work out 6 days a week..lately more than once a day. I eat well. I take high doses of medication. Ha! Well..sort of ha..

Maybe the only thing to do is just move on south for winter. But then I'd have to get these sausage legs into shorts 5 months ahead of schedule.

So maybe not.

Rocking it..all grouch style.
Paula

Feeling 12 again..

Seriously, I am beginning to hate Facebook.

All of a sudden, my grammar school classmates are coming OUT of the woodwork. I went to a small Catholic school and graduated with a class of 30 in 8th grade. In the last year, I got back in touch with one girl. I occasionally see my childhood crush since he lives in the area (and is still hot but that's another story...ha!). But that is it. Now everyone wants to be "friends" again. They want a reunion. They want to chat. They want to share pictures. I have NOT SPOKEN TO THESE PEOPLE IN 25 years! I have NOTHING TO SAY. And quite honestly, I HATED THE LAST YEAR I was in school.

My "best" friend is a girl who joined our school for the last two years - I have discussed her before on here. Our class was CLOSE with so few kids and all of us having been together since 1st grade..like brothers and sister close. In 8th grade, she went behind my back and went after my crush named above. She then turned all my friends against me (obviously not real friends as I know now..). I graduated speaking to 2 people thanks to her. No offense, I have no interest in being your friend, hearing about your life (just got divorced, single mom..so sorry..biatch) or even seeing your freakin' name. Serious, head trauma is more enticing to me. And I do NOT want to go to any freakin reunion where she is going to be there all "FRIENDS" with me..gag.

Okay..does anyone get where I'm at? I just need to vent. I am hot, smart, have an amazing husband, great kids and am, well, just fabulous. And just seeing this freakin' girls name all over Facebook lately has me feeling insecure, shy, loser-like and hurt all over again. How ridiculous is that?? I am not 12. I am going to be 37 in a month and I FUCKING ROCK.

There, I said it.
Rock on people,
Paula

Auld Lang Syne

May old acquaintances be forgot...

How do you all feel about weeding out people in your life? I feel like every 5 years ago I declutter my friends. It's about that time again. It is kind of like cleaning out the messy drawer in your kitchen. You find all kinds of odds and ends of people and can't quite remember how they got in your life and why they are still there taking up space.

I'm not trying to win any largest amount of friend contests - I am big believer that if you have friends that you can count on one hand when you die you have lived a full life. Good friends. Best friends. Friends that don't judge. Friends that are proud of you. Friends that want to see you succeed in EVERYTHING and are genuinely happy when you do. Friends that will listen to you cry about your kids or bitch about your husband and not run and tell all their friends how much your life sucks. Friends that for whatever reason (oh yeah, insecurity!), are in constant competition with you but would NEVER say those words aloud and admit it. Try to out skinny you, out car you, out lawn you, out clothing you, out hair you but really, you've never given it a second thought about returning those favors. Because maybe if we all spent more time trying to think about what WE want for US and not because of someone else, we might actually, I don't know, learn something about ourselves.

But we don't want that happening, do we?

Have an amazing New Year everyone - and try to learn more about yourselves this year. That's my goal. Every day.

Rock on,
Paula