Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Clean Up

It's that time of year again...weeding out the bad, keeping the good, rekindling the best :-)

Dealt with something yesterday that has been hidden inside my head and heart for a long most of you know, I did years of dancing..there is actually a back post somewhere about my little "reunion" last year with my dance teacher and fellow dancers last year. Well, over the summer, my dance teacher decided she wanted a full on reunion of the studio, banquet room, etc. So me and 6 other of the "main" girls that I danced with planned this event for this coming Friday.

Given my insane schedule, I did only the marketing piece (only but well, without me there would be nobody attending). I didn't go to the meetings where they went through 1000's of old pictures for poster boards or watched old dance videos and cried. Because honestly, well, I'm just not that person. Something had been nagging me inside for a while and yesterday it all came out and now, well, I understand.

I got a phone call from one of the women on the committee yesterday saying that a 13 year old niece of one of the committee members had volunteered to make all the pics into a video for the reunion. Great. She said she had received the video and it was amazing and cried for an hour afterwards.'s old pics of us in sequins but..whatever. She then asked everyone that we all contribute $20 each to give to this 13 year old girl for doing this. Now, there are 7 of us. And she is 13. And...SHE VOLUNTEERED.

So..being the non-quiet person I am, I write back "I am sure the video is great..however, maybe there could be a lesson in how sometimes the BEST reward for volunteering your time and effort to a greater good is the reward you get from seeing everyone's tears and happiness at your work. $150 to a 13 year old seems a bit excessive, don't you think?"

You would think that I had suggested we all throw on white hoods and set her on fire at the reunion. I got a nasty phone call from one of them telling me "I can't believe you don't think it's right to give her something"..I said, no, give her some flowers and tell her thank you..she is 13 YEARS OLD AND VOLUNTEERED. Just like everyone else in the committee did and you have all put in months of work. How would you feel if Joyce handed you a check on Friday night?? NOT RIGHT. I stayed calm and told them it was just my point of view and I didn't want to rock the boat but my own opinion is that teenagers seem to EXPECT reward these days for simple acts of kindness and the lesson of volunteering seems to be lost on them...and considering she is 13..well, I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone handing my daughter $150 for something that gives her experience and a feeling of goodness. Because isn't that the point?

To sum the seems one of them called my dance teacher and told her I was causing trouble and she actually wrote me two nasty emails as well accusing me of making "digs" and she could sense something fishy was going on...

REALLY??? I am the bad guy because I think a 13 year old who volunteers for something should just...volunteer and not get handed a check? Someone had already bought her a $40 ticket to the reunion, she has SPECIAL mention in the program AND they were going to do a special presentation at the REUNION. This girl NEVER WENT TO OUR STUDIO!! Why are we fetting some 13 year old niece of a committee member?? It was ridiculous.

But obviously, there were larger hands involved in this and I questioned the wrong issue. I let it drop, did not argue and did not respond. Called my mom and after telling her the story, and her telling me how much of a bitch my dance teacher was to her all while I used to dance because we had no money and how she remembers me coming home in tears because of how mean she used to be to all came floods. And I last class teaching (after being there for 16 years) before graduating high school when I came in 5 minutes late due to a bus accident and she SCREAMED at me in front of my kids, all the parents about how I was a disgrace and not committed and this horrible person for being late and as I tried to leave because I didn't want my little 8 year old girls see my cry so hard she screamed "you walk out now, don't ever come back". And I stayed and taught that class with tears streaming down my face..and there were tears last night remembering that for the first time in 20 years.

We are not going to the reunion. I am not causing a scene and we are not even telling anyone we aren't going. My mom and I just..won't be there. I have defriended all of them from FB (ironically within 3 minutes of doing so one of the biatches emailed me "are you kidding, you took me off FB??" would you know that if you hadn't been watching..hmmmm

I am 37, a grown, successful, important and fabulous woman. NOBODY treats me with disrespect anymore and stays welcome in my life.

Walking right out that door and slamming it shut behind me.

Rock on,