Monday, June 15, 2009

Does Not Play Well With Others

I have a very cute tshirt with this on the front but I am thinking I might just get it tattooed on my forehead.

I come from generations of very fiesty women - on both sides. All amazingly strong, intelligent and giving women but all lacking in the necessary talent of knowing when to keep their traps shut and tempers in check. My 4'9 French grandmother was known for her tirades, as was her mother..usually in a fabulous loud mix of French Canadian and English. My Italian grandmother apparently used to beat the crap out of my grandfather..not SO funny unless you know that she was in a wheelchair for most of her life and he was 6'5.

So really, is it any wonder that with both sides of the gene pool of women terrors that I have this..uh..MINOR personality flaw? Or strength...really, depending on what side you are on. I'd like to say that I only get upset and argue at major injustices being done..I'd like to say that. But sometimes, some people, just rub me THE WRONG WAY, almost every time they open their mouth. Almost..from the very first time I met them. So sometimes..I have to tell them to go away, and that I don't want to play anymore.

Is this bad? I don't necessarily think so. What it might be lacking in tact, I believe it makes up for in blatant honesty - as my friends say, you always know where you stand with Paula.

I have tried to manage this better as I've gotten older. There were reasons why I never managed more than a few people when I was working but continually got promoted..I think they were afraid I'd fire everyone incompetent my first day. Not entirely untrue. PC and I are not exactly bed-fellows.

But I try. I try to step away from situations before I speak. I try to sleep on emails before I send them. I step back before responding to someone's comments that just BUG me. I try to sit on my hands when all I really want to do is really just slap someone (truth: I have never been in a physical altercation in my life..shocking). But this is all EXTREME EFFORT for me.

I blame it on the short Canadian nana.

Rock on,