Thursday, June 26, 2008

Sometimes You Just Need To Take Out the Trash..

This subject line brought to you by Kyle - a lovely 20 year old boy my friends and I met last night who was listening to our conversation. I decided to steal his comment about taking out the trash at work..because sometimes you need to take out the trash in your life..or whatever is going on in your own head..

So I hit the town last night on my monthly venture out with my single fabulous girlfriends. Let me just say - every time I go, it is just one more check mark on the list of why I am so thrilled to not be dating right now.

We attended a lovely private party in town of a bar opening and it was mobbed with young, hot professionals - so the eye candy was good. Then my friends started scoping out some boys and my wingman skills were needed. I approached a nice looking group of suited up young cuties in suits and just started conversation - because really, what the heck do I care? At this point one of my fabulous friends turned from funny, great and down-to-earth to uber-snob, stuck-up, hair swinging BIATCH"I am so fabulous in my own head" and the transformation was not just frightening, but telling why at the age of 35, she hasn't had a boyfriend in 3 years. The hottest guy in the group that I was actually scoping for her initially checked her out but after receiving a sound put-down within seconds by her because he didn't "know" the best chefs in Boston personally, looked at me and said "Well, PARDON ME," and both visibly and mentally, checked her off the list. He, his friends and I then had a lovely discussion about the merits of the KFC/Taco Bell combination and what god in heaven created those while she found a nice gay man to be fabulous with for the next half hour and wasted my fabulous wingwoman abilities.

As we were eventually dissed out of their group, my girlfriend - now back in fun friend mode and obviously oblivious to her own destruction of anything there- says "I think he totally dug me, I would make out with him". I WANTED TO SAY "Girl, you threw yourself so under the bus and good luck with being single for the rest of your days". Instead, I just shrugged. What monster took over your body and brain back there?? I have never seen that in action..YIKES.

So friend, I say, take out whatever trash is in your head that that kind of behavior is what men want. Because what they really want, is a chick that will want to run to the KFC/Taco Bell and load up on Chalupas and Extra Crispy in one sitting.

Rock on,